


Tenth Life

by shiiki



Category: The Host - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-01
Updated: 2008-10-01
Packaged: 2018-07-24 14:23:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7511689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiiki/pseuds/shiiki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nine lives that Wanda touched, each playing a part in bringing her to her tenth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tenth Life

     _1\. Melanie_

I'd used to imagine this moment -- fantasies, back when I'd first been captured and Wanda had been put in my head. I had visualized all possible means of separating her, of ejecting the unwelcome invader of my body. The more brutal, the better, since she eschewed all hints of violence so strongly. Since she'd found out about Jared, I didn't see any harm in conjuring his image up for additional comfort: it would be me, my head bloody from clawing out the parasite inside, falling into the safety of Jared's relieved and welcoming arms.

Of course, by the time we set out to find Jared and Jamie, I'd stopped wishing I could cut her out of my head, although I couldn't deny that I wanted my body back to myself.

Still, if you'd told me at any of those points in time that both Jared and I would have fought _against_ kicking her out of me, I'd have assumed you were either insane or one of _them_.

I knew that Wanda had set things up so that it would be too late before anyone found out. Doc was a man of his word -- she had not been mistaken in trusting him to keep it. Jared following her to the cave entrance had been unanticipated, and there was the possibility of interference from his quarter, but then he might have simply acceded to her request and stay outside until Doc called him ... when it was all over.

I was the one person she had not accounted for properly and I was determined to be there in time. Since I'd ascertained that it was impossible to reason with her, the only option left was to thwart her myself. Pre-occupied as she was, it was only too easy to put up the same wall of defense I'd once used to hide Jamie from her. Just like then, I was trying to save someone I loved.

Clawing myself back to consciousness wasn't so different from hanging on to existence in the crevices of my mind. In both cases, I had a purpose that kept me strong.

The way I saw it, it was almost a responsibility. After all the time she'd spent controlling my body, I thought I should have some say in what she did with hers. I wasn't about to let Wanda die.

\---

     _2\. Doc_

Melanie Stryder came back to life noisily. I had barely finished applying the Seal and Smooth to the slim incision at the base of her neck when the scream erupted from her mouth. It shocked me -- she wasn't supposed to be conscious yet, let alone able to feel a thing throughout the operation. The chloroform and the No Pain should have taken care of it.

'Shh,' I tried to soothe, assuming she was either frightened or in pain. My voice sounded thick through my tears. Wanda was safely out now, curled in my left hand. I used my now-free right hand to pat Melanie's head gently, hoping to calm her. 'It's all right, Melanie; you're fine.'

I realized then that her scream was a single drawn out word.

'Noooooo!' She launched her self off the operating table with such ferocity that I took an involuntary step away from her. 'No, it's _not_ okay!'

To my surprise, she strode briskly to the pile of cryotanks in the corner, snatching one off the top and thrusting it roughly at me. Her actions, swift and furious, were completely unfamiliar -- it was this palpable anger that emanated from her that truly drove home the fact that _Melanie_ was completely in control.

Her intentions were immediately clear. And it was such a tempting decision. I cupped Wanda in both hands, her soft, feathery attachments brushing against the skin of my palm. She was twisting slowly from side to side as through stretching miniscule limbs. There was a strange silvery beauty in the way she moved, a radiance that seemed to reflect the very essence of Wanda's loving nature. I was loathe to allow that glow to dim, to still this helpless, trusting being cradled in the heart of my palms. I would be annihilating Wanda, my _friend_.

Yet I had promised.

_You are a man of your word ... No one will ever test that more than I will test it now._

_'Don't_ ,' pleaded Melanie, as I struggled with indecision. _'_ Please.'

_Do you swear, Doc?_ All _of my terms?_

'I promised her,' I said quietly.

'Break it,' snapped Melanie, when she recognized that I was not yielding. Her eyes narrowed, calculating -- her expression reminded me suddenly of Sharon -- and then without warning she lunged.

Reflexively, I held Wanda high above my head, out of Melanie's grasping reach. She knocked into me, backing me up against the wall.

'This is _murder_ , Doc!' she yelled. 'You can't do this!' Her voice cracked on the last word. Desperate, she called for the one person she thought she could count on. 'Jared! _Jared!_ He's going to _kill_ her, he's going to kill _Wanda_! Jared, _please_ come, please, _help_!'

I caved, in the end. Later, I would explain that it was under duress, but it was not fear for my life as Jared pressed his knife to my throat that drove me to break my promise and hand Wanda over to a triumphant Melanie to transfer safely to the cryotank.

_Do you promise me on your own life?_

It was ironic that those were the words she had chosen for me to swear on, for I knew that Wanda would never claim a life even to achieve her sacrifice.

\---

     _3\. Kyle_

I'm generally a sound sleeper, but even I couldn't slumber through Wanda's screeching. When I opened my eyes, she had Doc backed up against the wall, his arms held high above both their heads as though holding something hostage.

I was struck then by three things that didn't quite add up: first, that thing Doc was holding, it was ... well, like Sunny's true form. Second, Wanda looked ready to kill him. And third, there was no new body on Doc's operating table.

Where had the ... _soul_ , was that what Wanda called them? ... come from, why was Doc refusing to hand it to Wanda, and since when did Wanda threaten violence?

Then all hell seemed to break loose -- Jared appeared out of nowhere and before you could even say 'fight', he had a knife pressed against Doc's throat.

'You'll hand Wanda over to Melanie, nice and gentle, now, Doc. Don't make me use this.'

'Jared, I made a promise to her. I swore on my life --' Doc's voice sounded muffled. He was crying, I realized, seeing the shine on his cheeks.

'She's a part of me. Don't _I_ get a say, too?' said Wanda, only I understood suddenly that it wasn't Wanda but the girl her body had belonged to. Jared's Melanie.

'You do know she'd hate it if I were to actually use this on you over her, right?' Jared said, his knuckles around the hilt of the knife turning white.

Slowly, Doc lowered his hands and held his palms out to Wanda—Melanie, that was. She eased the Soul that was Wanda into the cryotank, the same way I had held Sunny earlier, soft and trusting in my large hands.

'Okay,' I said then, as no one seemed to notice they'd roused me. 'What's going on?'

Someone burst through the doorway for the second time. Ian's hot rage seemed almost tangible, filling the room as his eyes took in the occupants of the room. Doc's tear-stained face. Jared, the knife still gripped tightly in his hand. Melanie's arms hugging the lit cryotank. Me, sitting upright in the cot next to Jodi, Sunny's tank by my side.

' _No_.' The word was flat and harsh, and I was vividly reminded of my own crushing grief when I'd learnt that Jodi had been taken. He was in Doc's face in an instant, drawing his fist back.

'Ian!' The knife clattered to the floor as Jared moved to restrain my brother. Melanie, however, seemed ready to take Ian's side. She only paused long enough to thrust the tank she was holding into my surprised arms before turning back to Doc, her face hard and angry.

It wasn't often that I was the sane one in a room full of outrage. But I supposed Ian and I had exchanged roles so often since I'd brought Jodi and Sunny back, it was probably fitting that I was the one with the brainwave this time. I leapt to my feet and strode over to Ian, putting myself dangerously in his line of fire.

'Take her,' I ordered, pushing Wanda's tank into his hands.

Ian froze the moment the tank touched his skin. Jared and I waited, watching as his fingers curled slowly around it, his lips mouthing Wanda's name soundlessly. A single tear rolled its way down his cheek, followed soon after by more.

\---

     _4\. Ian_

The world seemed to stop. I held in my hands the cryotank that contained the body of my one true love -- my Wanda, whom I would _not_ allow to leave me.

The resounding _crack_ that splintered the silence and caused Jared and Kyle to turn to Melanie and Doc couldn't tear my gaze away from this tank and the sleeping beauty I knew it contained. My surroundings seemed to be a haze, though a different one from the blinding red panic that had followed me to Doc's hospital when I'd awoken to find Wanda gone from my side. I had a vague realization that Melanie had broken Doc's nose with a well-place punch -- I certainly condoned that, although it didn't make me feel any warmer towards Melanie -- and Jared was leading her away. Kyle -- of all people! -- was speaking in a shockingly calm voice, attempting to restore peace.

Wanda would have been shocked, but pleased at that.

_Wanda_.

'Don't leave me,' I whispered fiercely to the tank. 'You can't. You _can't_. Do you hear me, Wanderer? You can't leave me!'

I wasn't sure how long I stood there, hunched over my Wanda, murmuring to her. After a while, Jeb's steady voice broke through my cloudy senses.

'I reckon it's about time you had a bite, son. I'll look after her while you go eat.'

I shook my head. The one time I'd let Wanda out of my sight today, she'd gone and ... my eyes burned. If I turned away now, what if I turned back to find her gone -- a million miles away in outer space?

'No,' I said hoarsely. 'I'm staying with her.'

'Nothing's going to happen to her, Ian.'

'I'm not taking any chances.'

He sighed, but left me alone.

A while later -- maybe an hour or so -- I heard footsteps returning. I didn't even look up, assuming it was Jeb -- or maybe Kyle come back to check on Jodi. It was a surprise to hear the young, clear voice call my name uncertainly.

'Ian?'

Jamie's voice trembled. I looked up to see him gazing wide-eyed at Wanda's tank.

'I spoke to Mel,' he said shakily. 'She said ...' He stopped, bit his lip, and tried again. 'Is she -- is Wanda ...?' He gestured towards the tank.

I nodded.

He looked away, his body shaking slightly, and I guessed he didn't want me to see him struggling with tears. When he turned back again, his voice was composed.

'Aren't you hungry, Ian?'

I shook my head, but my stomach betrayed me with a low rumbled. Jamie gave me a wry smile.

'I'll be right back,' he said.

He returned with two plates piled with food. Neither of us said a word as we sat cross-legged on the floor to eat. I was balancing the tank awkwardly under one arm and managing my utensils with the other hand, but Jamie made no comment. He also seemed to understand that I wasn't about to let anyone touch Wanda's tank.

Silently, we finished our meal, and then continued to sit and watch the dull red glow from the cryotank.

\---  
  
     _5\. Jared_

Jamie fell asleep on the floor of the hospital. Mel and I found him there, curled up next to Ian, who still kept vigil over Wanda in her cryotank.

'Oh Jamie,' sighed Mel. Her free hand -- the one that was not clasped in mine -- reached out to smooth the hair away from his sleeping brow. 'It's almost like when we first came here, all over again.'

I squeezed her hand. 'No. It's not that bad. We didn't even know you were still in there at first. We thought ... well, it's different. He knows she's in there. She's not gone.'

'Thanks to you.' Mel sighed and tugged her hand out of mine. She held out her arms to take Jamie in them.

I stopped her. 'Let me.' I heaved the sleeping boy into my arms with a low grunt. As we headed for the door, Mel cast a worried look towards Ian.

'Ian ...' she said hesitantly. He made no sign that he'd heard. 'Get some rest,' she finished.

We were silent as we walked through the caves. Mel seemed to be deep in thought. She finally spoke up when we entered the passageway leading to my room -- well, the room that would be ours now.

'Is it stupid of me to feel ... jealous?'

'Of Wanda, you mean?'

'Not exactly ...' Although the caves were too dimly lit to make out her facial expressions, I imagined her brows furrowing. 'I'm here now, with you and Jamie, but it's all wrong. Everyone's missing her.' She laughed a little. 'I don't really blame anyone. _I_ miss her too. I guess I just imagined our reunion very differently. Happier.'

We'd reached the jade curtain that served as a door. Mel lifted it so I could carry Jamie in. I set him on his side of the bed and then turned to grasp Mel by the shoulders.

'I am _very_ happy to have you with me again,' I told her. 'Don't you doubt that.'

'I know,' she murmured, sinking against me. 'I understand, really.' But she couldn't help a brief glance towards Jamie.

'I think to Jamie, you've already been back for a while, actually.' After all, the kid had been the first to accept that Mel still lived on inside her stolen body, and he'd somehow managed to view them as a sort of dual entity.

'True.' Mel laughed shakily. 'I _told_ her it wouldn't be fine. She insisted that the two of you would have me back and that would be enough for you, but I knew better. Maybe she did, too. I mean, she couldn't even bring herself to tell Jamie goodbye. She knew that would hurt him.'

We both remembered, then, Jamie's reaction to the news -- how he had bolted from Mel's arms, with a choked cry: _'But she didn't say_ goodbye _!'_

Mel met my eyes then, fiercely determined. 'She didn't want to stay because she was tired of being a parasite. But there's _got_ to be another way.'

'We'll find it,' I said quickly, and my promise was not only to Mel.

\---

     _6\. Candy_

The question burning among the members of this new community that I was now a part of was _how?_ With the rescue of three humans, they knew that life _beyond_ was possible; now their curiosity extended to exactly how we'd managed to survive inside a body that was no longer ours.

My experience was hard to explain. Unlike Lacey and Melanie -- two personalities so strong that it was obvious that they had clung to existence through sheer tenacity -- I had not consciously remained anchored to my body, shouting for my voice to be heard. I doubt Summer Song had ever realized my presence as I drifted, half-tethered within the deepest recesses of my mind, half-lost a faded, dream-like state.  
  
I had been here for almost a fortnight now -- two weeks of consciousness, broken only by sleep. My memory was returning sporadically. I knew my name now -- Candy. I remembered that before the invasion, before my body had become home to an alien, I'd been a doctor. Such a twisted turn of fate, being taken over by one of _their_ doctors. I remembered being aware, in a strange, half-conscious way, of everything she did while at the hospital. In fact, that was the only time I had any sense of _being._ The rest of the time ... well, I must have existed, but I supposed it was like being in a sort of coma.

But I didn't need all the gaps in my memory to fill in for me to help out where I knew I best could.

I walked to the hospital alone. I'd been back there several times since they'd woken me up; I no longer needed a guide to show me the way. A low murmur of worried voices greeted me. None of the bent heads looked up as I entered, all too intent on their discussion. I caught snatches of it at first, the low, tense voices becoming clearer the nearer I came to the group.

'... still haven't got a response ...'

'... body itself ... deteriorating ...'

'There has to be something we can do!' This came from the tallest man in the group, a dark-haired giant I'd be told was called Kyle. He was one of the few here I hadn't spoken to yet -- his brother Ian, as well, who seemed a permanent fixture in the hospital, hovering protectively over a cryotank that no one could pry away from him.

'Isn't there some way you could feed her -- intravenously?'

'I don't have the equipment. Even if I did, there would still be other issues -- her muscles, for example, are going to waste away.'

'What if she never responds, Kyle?' The strong voice was the same one that had coaxed me back to life. Melanie -- though at the time, it hadn't been her. 'Maybe she's really gone. It could happen. Wanda said so ...'

At the mention of the name, Ian's head jerked up. He didn't say anything, but his dark eyes focused on Melanie, listening intently.

Kyle was silent for a while, his head bowed over the inert body. Then suddenly, he strode swiftly away, brushing past me. I thought he might be leaving, unable to bear the pain, and I felt a stab of grief for this young woman who hadn't been as lucky as me.

But Kyle didn't leave. He reached a counter on which three cryotanks sat, picked up the leftmost one, and returned to the group.

'Put Sunny back.'

They stared at him, stunned.

Doc's hands trembled. 'Kyle, I ...'

'It'll work, right?'

'Yes, but ... I don't know if I _can_. We never went over it -- we didn't expect ... I'm not sure if it's just a reversal of the removal process. If I get it wrong ...'

At this stage, I was trying very hard to process the situation. They wanted to insert a soul into the girl, a procedure that my own hands had carried out many times under Summer Song's direction. To save her life. I could do it. And in the end, it was my calling, one I'd had even before the Healer soul had taken over -- to save lives.

'Doc,' I said. 'Even if you don't know how to do it ...' Every eye in the room was on me now. 'I do.'

\---

     _7\. Sunny_

I knew that in every new body, the beginning would feel like the end. Once I had bound myself securely to every nerve centre, latched every attachment to the optimal point, I waited for the first and last memory to take me.  
_  
'I have to go, just like you, Sunny,' she tells me sadly. 'I have to give my body back too.'_

_'What?!' The angry voice frightens me. It sounds like Kyle, but it is not him; another man who looks like him -- his brother -- comes forward. He's so big, he towers over Wanda and I, and he grabs her._

_I'm so frightened. He's shaking Wanda. I'm falling back from her. Kyle confronts him, and suddenly I'm so afraid, but it's for Kyle -- what if he gets_ hurt _? I throw myself in front of him, scared as I am, and he pulls me back into the safety of his arms ..._  
  
Wait ... these were _my_ memories. Where were this body's? Why were my own memories so vivid?

My eyes fluttered open just as I realized this _was_ my body -- the body that had been me, before I'd left it. Its last memories were mine.

'Sunny?'

'Kyle!' I tried to sit up, but my limbs were too weak. My head spun when I tried.

'Careful, there,' said Kyle. Strong arms lifted me into a sitting position. I blinked, looking around the room. There were so many people. I couldn't focus on all of them. I turned back to Kyle to anchor myself.

'What happened? Why ...?'

'We need you, Sunny. Jodi ... isn't responding. Can you find her?'

I searched, but just as before, I was alone in my head. 'She's not here. I'm sorry.'

Kyle sighed. 'It's all right,' he said. 'I guess you'll be staying for a while, then.'

Staying! Joy flooded through me. I had to beam at the strange faces around me, thrilled as I was. My eyes focused on a familiar face among them.

'Wanda! Are you staying t—?'

The question died as soon as Wanda stepped forward, the light clear on her face, and it became obvious that though this was her body, Wanda was no longer present.

'We want her to stay,' said the girl. 'We're trying to find a way.'

'Can't you get her a body too?'

There was a long silence. And then the lips of the girl began to turn upwards, the serious look on her face lightening up.

'That's it,' she breathed. 'It's so _obvious_.' Her head swiveled round to catch someone else's eye. When she turned back to me she was grinning.

'That's _exactly_ what we'll do, Sunny.'

\---

     _8\. Jamie_

This raid was unlike the last one I'd been on -- the one where I'd stupidly cut myself with that knife. This time we were only searching for one thing. We wouldn't go back until we'd found it.

'No,' said Mel decisively. 'Too old. We can't be sure that there'd be no one still there inside.'

'Jodi was twenty-seven,' Jared pointed out.

'But the chances aren't as good as if we get someone younger.'

The soul strolled by our jeep, not knowing we were watching. I shook my head too, agreeing with Mel. Even if she had been the right age, this wasn't the right body, not even close.

There had been three so far that Jared and Mel thought had potential. We'd followed them closely, a few days each, but in the end, they weren't right. Too old, too young, too plain ... I thought the problem was really that they just weren't _Wanda_.

We kept on looking, driving further and further across the country, until finally, we found her in a suburb just off Seattle.

I noticed her first, standing in the garden of her house. She was tiny, definitely smaller than me, and hardly bigger than the last girl we'd rejected for being too young. But I thought she might older than she looked. Her hair was gold, and though it was a cloudy day, the sunlight came through a hole in the gray sky and seemed to make a halo right over her head.

You couldn't get any closer to Wanda than an angel, I thought.

'She's very young.' Mel was a bit dubious. 'Wanda wouldn't want to be a child.'

'I think she's older than she looks.'

Jared considered. 'I like her face. You can't help but trust it, it's so innocent. It makes me feel all protective of her.' He grinned a little. 'Wanda could do with a little of that.'

'She's pretty too,' I added. 'Wanda should be pretty.'

Jared and Mel took a while to decide. We watched her longer than any of the others -- a whole week. She was nice, shy, sweet, and they counted those as points in her favor. It didn't matter so much to me. I'd known from the start that we had to pick her. She was Wanda, and no one else could possibly be.

'You're right, Jamie,' said Mel at last. 'We've found her.'

\---

     _9\. Jeb_

You certainly couldn't say life in the caves was boring any more, not with all the excitement we'd had on and off since Wanda had come to us. Turned out to be a real godsend, she did, and not just because she'd just given us the key to fighting back. She was something special herself, and from the number of people who came in to see her, I wasn't the only one who'd thought so.

It was pretty much like visiting a coma patient, coming in to see Wanda, seeing as she couldn't respond, and according to Ian, she wouldn't be able to hear us anyway. That was something I intended to ask her about, when we brought her back. What was it like, to hibernate like that?

People still liked to come in the evenings to talk to her. I guess they missed the informal classes she used to give. Made me smile now, to think how she'd resisted the idea at first.

The day Jared, Melanie, and Jamie got back, it was still early for Wanda's regular visitors to arrive. I was there with Doc and Ian, who never left that tank of hers alone for a second, when the quick steps of a running boy echoed down the Southern tunnel.

Jamie just about burst through the door, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet in his excitement.

'We found her, Uncle Jeb! Ian, you'll like her for sure -- you'll see in a moment, Jared and Mel are bringing her -- oh, they sent me ahead so you could get ready, Doc!'

Doc caught my eye with a look that held plenty. Aloud, he only said, 'It's ironic how much this feels like when we first found Wanda.'

'I suppose it does,' I agreed, and I grinned. No need to say _I told you so_ to any of the guys around here who'd been all fired up when I'd set out to keep her.

They brought in the tiny slip of a girl -- she wasn't even bigger than Jamie -- and laid her down for Doc to work. All eager and hopeful, the way everyone was every time a soul was captured, except with none of the old apprehension. Doc knew what he was doing now.

Didn't take long for the silvery soul to be safely transferred into the cryotank. I ended up holding that tank, pondering on the little creature sleeping inside. Where had it come from, and where would we send it? Wanda would be able to tell us that. And soon, too.

'Well, now,' I said, half to it, half to Wanda, though neither would be able to hear me, 'sorry about all this. But it's a strange world out there and long as you're alive, you never know but something better could be coming your way.'

\---

     _10\. Inserted_

Gossip travelled fast around the caves. Doc had given his verdict that the captured body wasn't coming to, that to wait any longer would be to cause her death. In the time it took for him and Candy to prepare the tools and medication they would need for Wanda's insertion, a sizeable crowd had gathered in the hospital, their anticipatory chatter filling the room.

Doc frowned slightly at this, but kept his tone mild as he rebuked them. 'Guys, I don't think it's a good idea to have all of you watching this.'

'What's the problem, Doc?' asked Heath.

It was not Doc who answered, but Ian. 'Have some respect.' His blue eyes swept over the crowd in a glare. 'She doesn't deserve to have you all gawking when Doc's operating.'

'Right, everyone,' Jeb said, raising his voice. 'I imagine you're all gathered here 'cause you're happy to have Wanda back,' he raised his eyebrows in a way that suggested that he didn't think much of anyone who thought otherwise, 'but I reckon we could give her some privacy for this. She won't be waking up right off -- you'll all get your chance to welcome her back soon enough.'

The crowd began to dissipate, murmuring among themselves.

'I don't see the harm ...'

'Think, if it was you ...'

'It'll be good to have her back ...'

The only ones who had remained were Wanda's closest friends -- or one might say, her family. Ian, holding her tank with firm but gentle hands. Melanie, Jared, Jamie, Jeb. Melanie glanced towards her brother, who stared back obstinately at her.

'I'm not going,' he said, forestalling any objections.

'Well,' said Doc, with a look around the remaining observers, 'let's get started. Ian, would you?'

Ian stepped forward, ready. As Doc made the first incision at the base of the body's neck, he eased open the cryotank, allowing Wanda to slide out into his hands. The sight or perhaps the feel of her brought tears to his eyes. She crawled into the clean cut Doc had made, winding her way up with practiced ease. Candy passed the required medicines swiftly to Doc, who applied them, sealing up the wound.

And then all was still. Everyone in the room seemed to be holding their breaths. Connected now to the tiny body of her new host, Wanda's chest rose and fell steadily. She would wake soon, would need to adjust to this new life that was offered to her, but they all hoped that she would accept it.

Ian was the first to move, lifting his hand to stroke her cheek.

'Welcome home, Wanderer.'


End file.
